| I'M GOING TO COLLEGE :) |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|08:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Still Tippin-Mike Jones | ] |
okay...SAT IIs, way more intense than regular SATS.
French- 570
Literature- 610
I don't care how much of a fucking geek I am for being so excited. But I am SO excited.
:) :) :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 11th, 2005|11:45 pm] |
COMMUNITY.WEBSHOTS.COM/USER/DEFENSELESSDEPENDENT
powderpuff pictures are up<333 |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 28th, 2005|07:02 pm] |
Today could not have been any better.
We got the locker room decorated beeauutifulllyy.
We got posters.
We got presents.
We won.
We made tournament
And the night's not even over
<33333333333333333333333333333333333333333 |
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| Happy Birthday Krissy and Amy<33 |
[Oct. 11th, 2005|10:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Suffering-Coheed and Cambria | ] |
We got class ranks today.
Out of 296 students, I got 27th.
That means I just barely make it into top 10%.
My overall GPA was a 3.74.
I know that only losers get excited about class ranks.
I'm still so happy though. :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 7th, 2005|11:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
Love=new Coheed
Love=Joe Freedman for letting me borrow new Coheed
<3 |
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| This is for you. |
[Sep. 29th, 2005|02:47 pm] |
it's so hard to sit there, despite everything, and not say anything.
i could be a million different things and have a million different thoughts and a million different ways to describe them. it still wouldn't get across what i'm trying to say.
the fact is, i don't know what i'm trying to say. everytime i think about it i go in a hundred different directions at once. i don't want to sound hurt, for fear of being weak, apathetic, because that's clearly not true, or mean, because that's not the way i am. and it's not what i'm trying to say.
just know that it's there. it's dying to come out, but it never will.
i want to tell you how you ruined everything, how it's all your fault, how i'm sorry i ever met you, how i never should have believed i was in love with you, how i never should have let you have everything that you did, how everything that happened could have been completely avoided, and had nothing to do with me.
but even then that's not true. as much as i hate you for everything that happened, i feel like we'd still be as close as we were if something hadn't happened. and at least now i can get over it, instead of believe in it or wait to experience it, since it would have come at one time or another.
i can't even say i'm sorry i ever met you. i'm not. i'm just glad i have nothing to do with you anymore.
and that's honest, not exaggerated, not made up, not trying to make myself look good. that's how i feel to the best that i can describe it.
..at least it wasn't over a voicemail, with my friends laughing in the background. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 19th, 2005|06:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Every Rose Has Its Thorns-Poison | ] |
I hate livejournal. This will be the last of my entries, unless something so important happens that I have to put it over the fucking internet.
K bye. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 17th, 2005|12:24 am] |
your cliched and thought-provoking indirect stabs at me only seem pensive and meaningful to you.
shut up. |
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| OMG SCHEDULEZZZZZZ!!!!! |
[Aug. 23rd, 2005|04:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hungry | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Widow-Mars Volta | ] |
i suck and post my schedule like everyone else cause i care about school.
A: AP Literature-Limbey
B: Structured Learning-Meyer/Silvia
C: World Politics and Extremism-McCormick
D: Art Portfolio-Wall
E: College Physics-Sullivan
F: AP Statistics-Amour
G: AP French-Lewis
& hearts & hearts & hearts |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 22nd, 2005|06:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  relieved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | stare at the sun-thrice | ] |
three months. oh my god i am so much happier. |
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| <33surveys |
[Aug. 16th, 2005|05:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | loserish | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Pictures of You-The Cure | ] |
1. Initials: b.m.s
2. name someone with the same birthday as you: heath ledger<3
3. where was your first kiss? nick dostoomians house
4. for or against same sex marriages? definitely for
5. are you homophobic? not at all
6. are you bisexual? haha not really
7. do you believe in God? more or less
8. how many US states have you been to? 13ish i think
9. how many of the US states have you lived in? 2...mass and new hampshire
10. have you ever lived outside the US? nope
11. name something you like physically about yourself: i like my butt :)
12. name something non physical you like about yourself: i'm not shy and i won't sacrifice myself in order to make a good impression
13. where do you want to go to college? boston college
14. what is your dream car? hmm..76 charger or a 77 corvette stingray
15. if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? ireland, england, france, australia, japan, italy, amsterdam, all of those islands and almost everywhere else in europe except for germany
16. have you ever had someone of the opposite sex over at your house while your parents were gone? haha yes
17. how many concerts have you gone to? oh man i have no idea
18. do you download music? yeah
19. how many illegal things have you done? 17...i have no idea
20. where would you want to go on a first date? it honestly doesn't matter to me at all..boston would be pretty sick though
21. describe your perfect date: going to a show or doing something really fun with a ton of really close friends, then going out to eat just us two and taking a walk at midnight, watching the stars and holding hands and talking forever
22. has anyone ever sang or played for you personally? like once..i had a song written about me though :)
23. ever been kissed under fireworks? no :(
24. have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time? haha nope not yet
25. do you like president bush? no, i don't. i don't want to go into it anymore than that and talk like anything i say would matter
26. have you ever bungee jumped? no, i want to though
27. have you ever white- water rafted? yeah, but with a big huge boat and stuff in montreal
28. have you ever crashed a car? nope
29. has anyone more than 10 years older than you hit on you? yessssss
30. have you met a real redneck? i've met the closest to it. he sucks.
31. are you interested in anyone right now? yes<3
32. what song are you listening to right now? love will tear us apart-joy division
33. what is your current favorite song? under pressure-queen and david bowie..such great heights-the postal service
34. what was the last movie you watched? dumb & dumber
35. who was the last person you said you loved? i don't remember, i 143 everyone like a nerd
36. where was the last place you went besides your house? warped tour
37. have you ever seriously vandalized someone elses property? nope
38. have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? yes obviously i have
39. have you ever sang in front of a large number of people? not really
40. whats the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? their face, their stomach..like how fit they are and stuff. wicked ridiculous i know
41. what really turns you on? muscley and strong but skinny guys, not like big football player ones, ab lines, six packs, eyes, mouth & lips, hands, smile, asses, sense of humor, outgoingness, car...everything
42. what do you usually order from starbucks? i don't know, i hardly go to starbucks...deff rep dunkies
43. what is your biggest mistake? i dont' even care. i'm not going to rank them.
44. have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? yes
45. say something totally random about you: i live for singing at the top of my lungs to 80s metal/classic rock and fallout boy driving around in my car with the windows open
46. do you have an i-pod? no i suck at money
47. has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? somebody said i look like old lindsay lohan, but we're just gonna ignore that comment
48. do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows? 143 disney movies
49. do you have braces? yes. i suck.
50. are you comfortable with your height? i guess, it'd be kinda cute if i were like 2 inches taller but it's nto a huge deal
52. do you speak any other languages besides English? i take french if that counts
53. have you ever been to a tanning salon? yes, they dont even work on me and my stupid irish/english skin
54. what magazines do you read? rolling stone, cosmo cause they love sex
55. do you think these surveys are stupid? yes in the way that they're ridiculous but no in the way that i'm still doing them
56. do you have a hidden talent? probably
57. have you gone farther than kissing? yes
58. have you ever ridden in a limo? yeah, in like 4th grade or something
59. has anyone you were really close with passed away? no
60. do you watch mtv? not really...def vh1
61. whats something that really annoys you? annoying stupid slutty girls. i hate girls. and having my period right now.
62. whats something you really like? my friends and meeting new people and shows and my car and everything
63. do you like michael Jackson? i love old michael jackson
64. can you dance? haha yeah..i loveeeee dancing
65. have you ever surfed? nope, i want to but i'm wicked afraid of sharks
66. do you know how to pump gas? yes...its not as fucking hard as everyone makes it out to be
67. do you drive? yess<3
68. whats the latest you have ever stayed up? i've gone a few days without sleeping
69. have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die? no not really
70. Ever been rushed by ambulance to emergency? nope
71. have you ever been dared to do something you didn't want to do? yes, that's kind of the point of a dare
72. did you do it? obviously
73. do you actually read these when other people fill them out? yesss...143 kyle who i took this survey from
..my mom asked me why i have autographs on my stomach. whooopppsss. |
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| <3333 |
[Aug. 14th, 2005|10:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | psychedd | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Life of Mars-David Bowie | ] |
okay...how do i put this
i spent an entire weekend with mike...just us two
and warped tour is tomorrow
and i get to see everyone i haven't in awhile
andddd pretty much i love everything right now
..and i'm a loser |
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| i'm a really really big loser |
[Aug. 10th, 2005|05:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  enthralled | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Under Presure-David Bowie & Queen | ] |
i definitely remember this feeling
<33333333333333333 |
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| Peace outttttt<3 |
[Jul. 30th, 2005|08:23 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Warrant | ] |
I'm leaving today for like a week and a half. My entire mom's side of the family, which is like 30 of us, is renting this gigantic house in Vermont with like a pool and a spa and tennis courts and everything imaginable, and we're all just chilling up there for a week.
I swear it's not as ridiculous as it sounds. It's a wicked wicked good time.
And the fact that my family buys more alcohol than they can ever drink doesn't hurt either.
So yeah, I'll see you all soon.
Call me if you'd like to.
<333
(p.s. 143 Danielle, Mike, Tony, Vlad...everyonee else for making the last night in Stoughton fucking amazing<3) |
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| And I Wouldn't Have it Any Other Way |
[Jul. 28th, 2005|11:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | ecstatic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Cum on Feel the Noize-Quiet Riot | ] |
Wow. Good night
Thank you so so so much to Joe, Tony, Mike, those other kids names who I still can't remember, Val, Brett and Ryan from Brockton, Andrew the barber from Brockton, and everyone else who just made everything perfect.
Especially Danielle...my fucking other half.
I'm so happy. I have such good friends.
I love you all. Everyone that makes summer and Stoughton and everything what it is. You're perfect. |
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| Maybe This is What We've Been Waiting For |
[Jul. 26th, 2005|11:02 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  relaxed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Hot Hot Heat | ] |
I love my friends.
I mean it when I say that they all have different and unique and perfect qualities. They're not the kind of people whose absences go unnoticed.
And I love having friends from all different groups in different places with different backgrounds and outlooks and everything. That way I am always surrounded by a new perspective or something that I hadn't done before.
And I love meeting new people. There is absolutely nothing better than driving around with your best friends, meeting new people with all new friends and everything.
I love it.
Tonight we went down to the Gibbons School playground. It was absolutely wonderful. It was dark and perfect outside, and I was just with such good and hilarous people. I swung on the swings and played on the jungle gym and ran through the grass barefoot and it was so perfect. The fact that this was the same thing I used to do seven years ago when I went to school there made everything even better.
I know I'm being sentimental and overanalytical, but by no means am I overexaggerating.
I love my friends and the people I know now, and the people I have known, and the people I haven't met yet.
Everything comes together so much easier when you just let it happen naturally. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 25th, 2005|04:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Such Great Heights-The Postal Service | ] |
i go back home tomorrow.
obviously i'm happy. it's weird though, hard to explain.
the balance between home and the cottage is so awkward yet so fitting. when i'm at the cottage, all i do is pretty much go tubing, sleep, tan, watch tv, work on art, just whatever. and it's not bad necessarily, because when i'm home, i'm always always busy..so i never have time to just chill like i do here.
i still don't know if it's worth it though.
having four days of nothing to come home to three days of constantly being busy is such a weird cycle. i'd rather have some kind of constant i could depend on..instead of living two juxtaposed lives.
i can't explain it well because there's counterpoints for everything, and no matter how eloquent-sounding i make my complaint, or how much complaining i do, the fact of the matter is that i'm upset about having a second house on a lake.
i just, i don't know. i can't wait for school in the way that i won't have to come up here. and i definitely, definitely do not want to live here.
time to go waste the time we have left until i get to go home. |
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| i suck and i do surveys |
[Jul. 22nd, 2005|01:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | do you realize-the flaming lips | ] |
==========
|| SURVEY 1 ||
==========
I AM: everything, depending on which kind of mood you catch me in
I WANT: to be able to stay in stoughton and not move to the middle of fucking nowhere
I HAVE: to go run my mile
I WISH: i didn't have a cerfew
I HATE: my stomach
I MISS: everyone i haven't seen in awhile
I FEAR: sharks
I HEAR: the postal service
I SEARCH:
I WONDER:
I REGRET: my reputation
I LOVE: french vanilla iced coffees
I ACHE: from running for the first time in months
I ALWAYS: change who i like and what i feel and what i think, always
I AM NOT: consistent
I DANCE: all of the time
I SING: in my car...alll of the time:)
I CRY: over stupid things
I AM NOT ALWAYS: confidant
I WRITE: whenever i feel the need to
I WIN:
I LOSE:
I CONFUSE: fuckin everyboddyy
I NEED: to not be doing online surveys no one's going to read
I SHOULD: not be doing online surveys no one's going to read
==========
|| SURVEY 2 ||
==========
x. father thinks I am: his little girl
x. mother thinks I am: either a brat or her perfect daughter who would never drink or do drugs or smoke or have sex ever
x. my boyfriend/girlfriend thinks I am:
x. three things you are often complimented for: my dancing, my appearance, my car
x. makes you happy: my new mix i made last night
x. upsets you: dishonesty
yes or no...
x. you keep a diary: yes, but only when something important enough happens for me to write about
x. you like to cook: yep:)
x. you have a secret you have not shared with anyone: probably
x. you're in love: nope :)
x. you set your watch a few minutes ahead: my alarm clock
x. you bite your fingernails: nope
x. you believe in love: yes
==========
|| SURVEY 3 ||
==========
Who is:
the weirdest person you know: ziggols definitely ziggols
the loudest person you know: brendon
the sexiest person you know: oh god..everybody:)
your close friends: they know
the person that knows the most about you: probably allison
your crush?: don't have oneee :)
the most boring teacher: motherfucking mr zeeland
What is...?
your most overused phrase on the web: definitely
the last image/thought you go to sleep with: fuckin summer reading
your best feature: physically, i like that i'm little...personality-wise, i'm a good listener?
your favorite inside joke:
Do You...?
take a shower everyday: yeepp cause now i finally like wearing my hair curly
have any tattoos/where?: not yeettt
piercings/where?: ears for now
think you're a health freak: kind of...i stress out about what i'm eating, but i eat it anyways
get along with your parents: on the surface
==========
|| SURVEY 4 ||
==========
Would You Ever..
1. Eat a bug? ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
2. Bungee jump? definitely
3. Hang glide? maybe but not over the ocean cause i'm afraid of the sharks
4. Kill someone? never
5. Have sex with someone you don't love? i suck
6. Kiss someone of the same sex? haha yes i love girls
7. Have sex with someone of the same sex? i don't think i'd be able to qualify it as sex
8. Parachute from a plane? mmayyybeee
9. Walk on hot coals? yeah
10. Go out with someone for their looks? i might try
11. For their reputation? probably
12. Be a vegetarian? nopeeee
13. Wear plaid with stripes? this one doesn't really deserve an answer
14. IM a stranger? not unless i was really bored
15. Sing karaoke? haha yes
16. Get drunk off your ass? yeepppp
17. Shoplift? i stole an earring from claires once, because one of them broke..other than that i'm kind of a pussy
18. Run a red light? yeah i'm a badass
19. Star in a porn video? no, i wouldn't want to see myself having sex
20. Dye your hair blue? probably not
21. Be on Survivor? no they eat gross things
22. Wear makeup in public? :o!!!
23. NOT wear makeup in public? :o!!!
24. Cheat on a test? i hate these questions. everybody cheats on tests. yes i cheat on tests. i'm not a fucking slacker nor am i fucking perfect. it's a fucking test. fuck you.
25. Make someone cry? not on purpose
26. Call your math teacher a motherfucker? noo 143 kellogg
27. Kick a baby? :o
28. Date someone more than ten years older than you? no
29. Cuss out a priest? no, that's fucking ridiculous.
30. Take a job as a janitor? nooo
31. Wear a tho-tho-tho-tho-thong? i only have like 5 pairs of underwear that aren't thongs or boy shorts
32. Stay up all through the night? okay julie :)
now i just fee like a fucking loser.
why the fuck am i on the computer |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 20th, 2005|12:01 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Smile Like You Mean It-The Killers | ] |
I don't know what to say.
I want to spill everything just as badly as I want to keep my mouth shut.
The less I talk about it the easier it is to forget.
I was so good at forgetting.
I've already said too fucking much.
Fuck this.
I'm not going to let myself think of it or ----------------------
I can't even say it. |
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yourxanything's journal
apathetic